The phallic stage of child development: how to behave to parents?

The phallic stage of child development: how to behave to parents?.

The phallic stage of child development is a stage of growing up a child in which he actively studies his genitals and finds out the difference between boys and girls. It usually begins in three years and lasts up to 6 years.

The phallic stage of child development: important features

Adults are convinced that at such a small age, the child does not understand anything in intimate relationships and the genitals cannot represent any interest for him. However, Freud also tried to explain to the world that this.

Yes, the child has special, erroneous and complete inaccuracies in the presentation, but it is during the period of phallic development that he delves into this topic, is interested in the parent of the opposite sex and competes with the parent of his gender. This is a rehearsal of future relations, working out their sexuality.

Unfortunately, most people completely ignore this period, consider “games with a squeak” pampering and hooliganism, shame, scold, forbid. An even deeper mistake is to limit the communication of girls with a father and boys with a mother.

Freud studied the topic of the first psychosexual relationship between the child with his parent and supported the theory about the complex of Electra and EDIPOVO to the complex. They, in turn, were put forward by Karl Jung in 1913.

In short, the essence is that the father devotes little time to her daughter, does not allow her to get his attention, care, and establish partnerships. At the same time, she cannot prove herself and take care of the father in full.

The same applies to boys who are not understood and accepted by the mother, they did not receive her attention or in the family the relationship developed in such a way that the parent of one with the child of Paul belittles the parent of the opposite sex.

For example, mother speaks hard about his father, openly demonstrates disrespect for him, subordinates, insults. Similarly, the divorce or reluctance of his father can be affected by the upbringing of his daughter. In all these cases, a complex of electrra can occur (a similar complex in boys is called Oedipus Complex).

The girl begins to fight for her father’s love, considers her mother a competitor or an enemy who interferes with a full relationship. Can accuse her mother of divorce, may make a complaint about the fact that she chose an unreliable man and, again, allegedly due to her mother, she had no father.

The child still does not realize that the father is a father, and not a man, husband, lover. But the phallic stage of child development is characteristic that the girl is trying to live a full -fledged relationship with her dad, and the boy with her mother.

If this stage is skipped, then in the future it will affect both the development of sexuality and the ability to build healthy, adequate relations. It is catastrophically dangerous to underestimate the age -related “quirks” of a child from 3 to 6 years old, because scolding for the study of their genitals and limiting relations with the parent of the opposite sex, you can doom your child to suffer in adulthood.

Phallic stage of child development: consequences

If the phallic stage of the child’s development was successful and the parents behaved correctly, or took advantage of the services of a psychologist, then the child overcame it with experience to peers. But more often it happens the other way around, when children lose competition for the parent of the opposite sex to the parent of their gender. Due to natural physical superiority, the father defeated his son, the mother won her daughter.

The phallic stage is fixed and the painful process of identifying oneself with the parent of his gender begins. The boy is trying to become the same as a father to have more chances of mother’s attention. The girl copies her mother in everything. For these reasons, we often observe situations when the daughter completely repeats the fate of her mother.

Since there was a replacement of their desires from consciousness to the subconscious, unconscious behavior begins, which is most often destructive. At the age of three years, the child had to survive relations with the parent of the opposite sex, go through all stages and understand that it was time to move on. Those who earned Oediples complex or complex of Electra remained forever in childhood, where you need to fight for the attention of the object.

Boys behave boldly and brazenly, try to look more courageous and stronger, tend to be proud of their sexual achievements, often become women. Their main goal is to become the best for the girl who will like it could not refuse. In each of them, they see a mother who needs to be discouraged from the father.

In girls, a neurotic disorder occurs, there is a tendency to random sexual intercourse and the desire to receive more male attention. They depend on the assessment of men, need verbal guarantees, talk about love, fidelity and devotion. These are girls who are easy to “ride on the ears”.

Since the girls, completely losing competition for the father of their own mother, first try to become the same as her, losing their personality, and then begin to suppress their desires, frigidity may come over time. The reluctance of sex in principle or the inability to enjoy it. Suppressed emotions do not allow her to enjoy the process in full.

More often, the image of the father is formed with distortions. He seems to the girl a good, caring, gentle, but depressed by his own mother. She is an enemy who humiliated her father and prevented the development of relations. At the age of 6-7 years, this goes into the subconscious and the girl in the future can find the same miserable, needing to save and help a man. Which will begin to save.

Instead of the result

Options for the destructive development of the child as a result of ignoring the phallic stage, a lot. Unfortunately, parents know almost nothing about the importance of this period, underestimate the influence of sexuality and psychosexual development on the future of their child.

In adulthood, finding himself in the body of a large man, a 3 year old baby will suddenly wake up, who will continue to look for a mother or dad in each of his new acquaintances, trying to conquer him from all the people of his gender. Where this destructive path to happiness and a neurotic state will lead a person is difficult to say. But nothing good, without the help of a psychologist, does not have to wait..

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *